Our son Eli came to visit today. I’m not sure if we’ve been together at all since the virus moved in. There might have been a time early on when we sat distanced with masks in his apartment in the Mission, but I’m not sure. What I do know it that it’s been a long time.
We had our daughter with us back in February when I had my weekend 80th birthday party, and Eli was with us then too. She was here for a week and then got back home to Italy in the nick of time. God, that party was a blessing. I got to see and hold my beloveds in a bunch, and then the doors slammed.
So today was very special. We had coffee at HardCore, picked up sushi at Fiesta, went home to prep the picnic, and then went out to the ocean. Sun, waves, sake, and a gull. Conrad and I always go to the same spot, and when we have scraps we delight in making a gull happy. Today we didn’t have scraps, but we had a gull. I can’t be sure it’s the same one we’ve entertained in the past, but she stayed with us the whole time anyway. At first alert, standing, watchful, and then just hunkering down in a warm sandy patch nearby until we got up to go. Silent presence.
Back home I puttered in the garden, gathering some arugula for Eli to take home to Meg, and some catnip for him to take to their cats. Dinner happened without drama. Mostly, the three of us were together in the house in afternoon comfort, playing with the cats and then sitting in silent presence. We had a good meal and Eli went home.
I think it’s the ultimate intimacy, silent presence. It feels so good, like walking alone in moonlight. Nothing asked, nothing judged, just being there. I remember nursing; no way to meter the milk, it just happens.
I look forward to the time when the stream of life runs gently again for all of us. For now the two of us are our own still waters, our own embraces and our own silent presence. If you are someone I love, I am with you too. The next full moon is on Samhain, Oct 31st, and that is when the veil is thinnest between the worlds. When you are in silent presence with all you hold dear, I will be with you too.
Yes, I love silence! I love my solitude! I live in my monastery of one, where I sometimes refer to myself as a drunken monk. I enjoy some drinking in the evening, but it doesn’t help with my weight. I am wrestling with that.