Logjam. . .

—From EF—

I’ve finally busted out of a major slump, with Tuesday being the champ. I was spinning my wheels on current memoir writing and hadn’t even been able to let the job of writing the blog flash before my eyes for more than a nanosecond. FB tells me that others were similarly plagued by malaise at the same time. By the time I was at the day’s end, I felt as if I had a giant compression band mashing my ribs.

This was weird. On Sunday we’d gone down to the Circus Center in SF for a class recital and had a wonderful time watching Eli and Meg and their colleagues perform the original work they’d developed in Toby’s new class—not exactly clowning, but infusing any performance medium, whether trapeze, mime, or stand-up with the clown’s comic energy. It was wonderful to watch, and afterward we all went out to a nearby sidewalk cafe and enjoyed a late lunch together. No bad traffic coming or going: a very nice day.

On Monday we went to the ocean and apologized for being a day late. She didn’t mind. It was warm and calm enough for us to have our picnic out on the bluff, and the gulls were doing special acrobatics. Maybe they’d taken classes at the Circus Center. And at evening’s end we lit a fire in the bedroom fireplace and talked a while and snuggled a while and went on from there. Another very good day.

So how did Tuesday get to be such a rank dog for me? I had the full roster of gross compulsions—raging to snack on anything in sight all day, completely unable to concentrate on anything, desperately sleepy and unpleasantly cranky. By bedtime I felt so jangled I despaired of sleep but did my new pre-sleep ritual anyway, lying down quietly on the couch and inviting a cat to climb up on my stomach. That is usually calming, and indeed it was. I focused as best I could on breathing and brought up a couple of what I call “panic mantras,” and those worked too.

It was amazing. I could actually feel the bands loosen and my mind quiet down. By the time it was time to climb the stairs, I felt OK. Then I got the best night’s sleep I’ve had in quite a while. Today I unlocked my snaggles on the writing and feel I can get back on a roll. Tuesday, you threw a tantrum, but I caught it and threw it out of the park.

###